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Welcome to the Determined to Dance podcast with your host, Jennifer Hallmark. Today’s episode, Encouragement: Active Vs. Passive looks at different ways to encourage others.

Are you ready? The world would have us march to its chaotic beat but God invites us to dance in His will and His way. Let’s take a moment to be energized, refreshed, and motivated to face the day, one spin and twirl at a time.

Show notes: Encouragement: Active Vs. Passive

Encouragement is something we all need. While self-encouragement is necessary, I want to focus on being an encourager to others. A person who is intent on building up, stirring up, or lifting up those around them. I like I Thessalonians 5:11 in the Message translation:

“So, speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.”

No one left out or left behind. I think of walking alongside someone, taking their hand and showing that we’re in this together. When we’re at a dance, we can’t solely focus on our ability and the part we play or we lose the ability to flow with our dance partner. We might also run into other dancers and create chaos because of our self-focus. There is a give and take in our awareness of our own ability to dance, that of our dance partner, and the people around us. We want to flow with God and be a blessing.

I believe we can build up hope in passive and active ways. When I speak in front of a group of people, many encourage me in passive ways, whether they realize it or not. Just showing up to listen encourages me as does shaking their head in affirmation when I make a point during my talk. Passive encouragement has value.

But what really stays with me are the active encouragers. Those people approach me afterward with a positive word, insight, or question. Or they ask about my writing, podcast, or ways to connect through social media. People who go the extra mile.

And I love to receive a physical card in the mail or an email mentioning the event and its worth to the listener.

Now I should probably stop here and mention that of the five love languages, a book by Dr. Gary Chapman, my primary one is words of affirmation. I love to be encouraged verbally and give encouragement that way.

I believe passive encouragement is needful, but I long to become a person who actively seeks out people who are hurting, lonely, or with low self-esteem and build, stir, and lift them up. Maybe you do too.

How can we do this?

1. Point out the talents and goodness of others. Many people undervalue themselves and feel they are nothing special. Encouragers point out their value.
2. Focus on the goals and dreams of others. Many people are almost afraid to set goals and dreams because of their past. Encouragers ask about dreams and goals, then inspire and assist in reaching them.
3. Being present. In this day of technological distractions, it’s often hard to find someone who will set their phone, work, or day aside to simply listen. Part of being an encourager is the willingness to be fully present in a given situation with an open ear, mind, and heart.

Nothing thrills my heart more than when a person gives me their full attention. I’ve been guilty of only half-listening to people as I formulate my reply in my mind, instead of focusing on what they’re saying, I’m caught up in what I want to say, what I want to get across, my own agenda. And if you’ve picked up on that while we’ve talked in the past, I’m truly sorry.

It takes great effort to change a ‘me’ focus to a ‘we’ focus. But I’m willing to learn. First, I lay down my phone, work, or anything else aside. I try to make eye contact and focus on the words of others, not my own words. Second, I put myself in their place. How would I feel if this were happening to me? What encouragement would I need?  Then I do something. Maybe a nod or word is enough. Or I might need to add a more active form of encouragement. Do I need to follow up with more encouragement or point out a path that will lead to more help than I can give?

As much as we’d like to, we can’t be everywhere for everyone. But God can. 2020 and 2021 have been so overwhelming for many people and at times we all feel hopeless as the needs around us multiply. We can easily burn out if we try to meet them all.

Let’s try to be sensitive to passive and active ways to encourage others but at the same time realize that only God can meet each person where they are. I’ve learned to stop feeling overwhelmed and take a moment to pray for those I can’t personally touch. Because I know that God can.

Let’s pray: Father God, thank you for providing ways to encourage those around us. You give us examples in your word, especially through reading about your son, Jesus, and the way He changed the world through his selfless acts of love. Help us to be more like Him, sensitive to the needs of others and our own. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen.

I love the many ways we can encourage others. Next week, we’ll talk more about modeling encouragement and random acts of kindness. Until then, stay determined to dance.

Links:

My website

My debut novel, Jessie’s Hope

I Thessalonians 5:11, The Message

The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

Remember: Encouragement: Active Vs. Passive

Video of the week:

I absolutely love music and each week I’d like to share a relevant song we can enjoy together.