Valentine’s Day is tricky if you are not part of a twosome. Hearts and cupids fill the air with love and romance. Couples buy gifts for each other, shower their loved ones with flowers, and plan wild, romantic dinners and getaways.

But what if you are single? It is easy to let yourself get depressed or sad because you aren’t celebrating this joyous holiday with a special someone. I would like for you to consider this – are you lonely or alone? Simply put, alone is when you are by yourself. You are okay with your own company and don’t feel any negative emotions about being by yourself. Lonely is when you crave or need the company of others. You can be alone but not lonely, or you can be lonely in a room full of people.

I hope Jennifer doesn’t mind, but I am going to stray just a little from her traditional format. Instead of writing about a good deed already done, I would like to focus on good deeds you could do for yourself this February holiday if you find yourself feeling lonely.

• Focus on you. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi or a full spa experience. Try out the gym. Browse your local museums and soak up the culture. Join a class and learn a new hobby, like knitting or painting or auto repair. You might connect with others spending the holiday alone.
• Have a movie or TV binge night. Did you miss the last season of Game of Thrones? (You didn’t miss much.) In the mood for a night of Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies? What about a marathon of Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings? Okay, my geek side is showing here, but you get the idea. Grab some chocolate hearts, a big bowl of popcorn, and a remote for a night of your favorite actors doing daring escapades. If you are in the mood for love, the Hallmark Channel usually runs Valentine movies 24/7!
• Find others like yourself. Do you have other friends who might be spending the holiday alone? Suggest a group date. Activities range from mini golf, paint ball, movies, or shopping to extravagant dinners or dance clubs. Local churches often host mixers for singles. Host your own ‘singles only’ dinner party. Surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones will definitely drive away those lonely blues.
• Volunteer. Maybe you aren’t the only one depressed about being by yourself on Valentine’s. Call your local nursing homes or convalescent homes. Many residents do not have family or anyone who visits regularly. You could read books, play games, put together puzzles, or just sit and listen to their stories. Even local animal rescue centers allow visitors to come and play with the dogs and cats. I dare you to feel lonely holding a fluffy, furry ball of love! You might even find a four-legged friend to take home!
• Send yourself flowers. Who says roses or daisies have to come from a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend? Treating yourself to some colorful blooms can brighten your day and your outlook!
• Send cards to your loved ones. Celebrate everybody – parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles. A loving word to show you care is always appreciated!
• Don’t have a pity party! Sadness or grief is fine – those are logical human emotions we must each work through. But don’t feel sorry for yourself! People are not pointing at or talking about you behind your back just because you are not paired up on this particular day of the year. And remember, not everybody who is part of a couple is happy.

Do you know the beauty of this list? You could do each of these things for or with someone else. Think about your friends. Do you know someone who recently lost a spouse or went through a major breakup? Call them up. Even if you spend the evening with your sweetheart, you could meet a friend for lunch. Can you imagine how much a small bouquet would cheer up a nursing home resident?

If you try to help someone, a word of advice – don’t go full throttle at your friend. No one wants to hear, “I just can’t stand for you to be all by yourself on Valentine’s Day!” No one wants to think their friends pity them. We can’t see or feel what others are feeling, so what you see as a sad or pathetic solitary existence might actually be a happy, fulfilling life to another. This all goes back to ‘alone versus lonely’. I have friends who feel sorry for me because I eat lunch by myself during the work week. They think this is lonely for me. I cherish this time. I can go to a local restaurant, order a big glass of sweet tea, and recharge for 45 minutes before I have to go back to work. I like this alone time but I am certainly not lonely.

If you find you are lonely and it is upsetting to you, please talk to someone. Local churches have support groups and some employees offer counseling for their workers. Online websites or Facebook groups may be more for you, with more anonymity. You don’t have to be lonely alone!

The most important thing to remember on Valentine’s Day, or any day, is to know that you are important, no matter if you are one-half of a couple, single by choice, or alone due to circumstances. You are important to your family and friends, and you are important to God. Enjoy this day made for lovers, because it is also a day made for you.

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